DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any aforementioned references to other games or shows. I simply made it all l33t!

After leaving t3h author's house in search of a way to help M4r!k with his date, our vaguely mentioned heroes from the last episode soon find themselves sitting in his house, planning and plotting to help him with what may be the most important night in his young life. Let's see what happens, shall we?

Y00g33: Okay, we've already pretty much established that this is M4r!k's first date, and we need it to go well for him. If we have any hopes of this, we need a game plan. Any ideas?

B4kur4: I'm no expert, but a lot of girls like a guy who smells good. I'd say a shower is a good first step.

M4r!k: Okay. Shower. Got it. Anything else after I get out?

Y4m!: Cologne is another good step toward getting a girl to like you.

S3t0: Just don't go overboard. You don't want to give your girl an allergy.

M4r!k: Can do. *goes to take shower*

B4kur4: So far, I think we're leading him down the path of true love. Should we work on his outfit while he's bathing?

S3t0: No, I'm pretty sure he should be able to dress for himself. If he can't, I just feel sorry for him.

Y00g33: Besides, who are we to say what's right in the most dangerous game ever played to man!?

Y4m!: Du3l M0n573rz?

Y00g33: I was thinking more along the lines of love.

S3t0: Oooh, that is a dangerous game.

B4kur4: And considering none of us has ever had a girlfriend, maybe we shouldn't even be attempting it.

M4r!k: *inside shower* CRUDMUFFINS!

Y4m!: ...what was that?

B4kur4: ...I don't think I heard anything.

M4r!k: Who the hell switched my shampoo with this bottle of honey!

B4kur4: Yup, still didn't hear anything.

M4r!k: Damn it, my hair is even more unmanagable than Y4m!'s!

Y00g33: Should we go and make sure he's okay?

Y4m!: He should be fine. Besides, he's probably just nervous.

S3t0: I don't know... he did sound kind of serious about the honey.

Y4m!: Look, are you all going to go on and worry about the littlest mistake, or are you going to listen to me!?

B4kur4: We never listen to you, so I'm going to vote on checking on him.

Y4m!: You can just go straight to hell, B4kur4.

B4kur4: Come and get me, oldy-locks.

Y4m!: Strong words coming from a husk older than dirt.

R3x: Excuse me, kind sirs, but I think you should refrain from argumentations such as these. We have but a bigger problem to attend to.

Y4m!: Er... R3x!? Where the hell did you get the British accent?

R3x: After relaying my cruel words of vulgarity to t3h author, I decided to amass my energy into a more positive reproach to stressful situations. A British accent seemed to suit this utterly!

B4kur4: This smells of author...

M4r!k: Guys, I could use some help up here! My hair's ruined, and I can't fix it!

B4kur4: Just put a hat on your head or something!

Y4m!: A hat? How is that even remotely considered good advice!?

M4r!k: At least it hides the mess I call hair. Okay, quick, d00dz, what else?

Y00g33: We were debating helping with your outfit while you were bathing! Do you know what you're going to wear?

M4r!k: Well, I doubt she'll like jeans and a T-shirt. I'm going with my tux just to be safe!

S3t0: That might be a little overkill for a first date.

Y00g33: Hey, it's better to go over than under!

B4kur4: Heheheheh... over... under...

Y4m!: Grow up, B4kur4.

M4r!k: Damn it, who is doing this to me?!

S3t0: What's going on now?

M4r!k: I found a scorpion in my pants! I'm lucky it hasn't bitten me yet!

S3t0: ...why is there a scorpion in his pants?

B4kur4: This seriously smells of t3h author.

Y00g33: Are j00 sure you're all right up there?

M4r!k: I'll be fine. I killed the scorpion. Just let me put on some... damn it!

Y4m!: What now!?

M4r!k: Someone replaced my cologne with sewage! I smell like a drainpipe now!

Y00g33: That's... not good...

S3t0: Yuck! I can smell it from here! I think I'm about to toss the lunch basket.

R3x: My word, it smells as bad as one hundred horses' asses!

B4kur4: I don't get it. Who the hell is messing with us!? Who, aside from t3h author, knows what's going on!?

M4r!k: It must be her!

Y4m!: No, I don't think she'd bother with something like this.

M4r!k: Then what do YOU think it is!?

S3t0: Maybe it's some form of spirit or a possessed object.

B4kur4: That only happens in 34rth B0und.

M4r!k: Whoever it is gets to die when I find them! There's no way I'm letting this go!

B4kur4: It's amazing how one episode gets junked by an unseen villain.

Y00g33: We have to figure out who's doing this stuff before his date is ruined!

R3x: ...!

S3t0: I think Rex came up with something.

R3x: My good men, it has come to my attention that we must look, not to the unknown for answers, but to the unseen!

S3t0: The unseen? Are you saying someone's robbing M4r!k?

R3x: No, no, my good friend! I'm merely suggesting that it's nothing of spiritual conception at all!

Y4m!: So, what you're saying is, there is someone messing with us, and they are real, we just can't see them?

R3x: Precisely, my wise friend! We cannot yet see because it is they who wish to be unseen!

B4kur4: ...my brain hurts.

Y00g33: Well, if what R3x says is true, then it's probably someone who's really good at sneaking around. Like a thief, or a ninja.

S3t0: Then there are two suspects who fit that bill. And since Yuff!3 wouldn't bother ruining her own date, I'd say it's B4kur4.

B4kur4: What!? How the hell could that be possible!?

S3t0: How do we know it's not j00?

B4kur4: I'd assume the laws of physics applied here. If I'm here, talking to you, how can I possibly be upstairs, screwing M4r!k over?

S3t0: I'm willing to theorize that j00 cloned j00rself.

B4kur4: ...that theory is stupid. It's also dumb, and full of nonsense.

S3t0: J00r just jealous because I caught onto j00.

B4kur4: ...great, S3t0. That... that's just dandy. Anyone else want to top that huge spurt of nonsense?

Y00g33: We could say it's not you and find proof that it is!

B4kur4: Wow, I didn't think it was possible, but that was even dumber than S3t0's theory.

Y00g33: I always do my best to outdo everyone!

B4kur4: ...right. Okay, this is getting us nowhere fast. I think we'd better look around the house and see if we can find this 'unseen' bastard R3x mentioned.

Y4m!: For once, I actually agree with j00.

B4kur4: Wow, that's a first. I think j00r intelligence is coming back.

Y4m!: I'll admit I've felt enlightened since t3h author spoke to us. I'm sure it'll wear off soon. Let's go before it does.

And so, as Y4m! and his group head up the stairs to see if they can crack the case, M4r!k appears to be doing slightly better as he puts the final touches on his suit.

M4r!k: Okay, my hair's not nearly as sticky now. Maybe I can fix it. *shakes can and sprays* ...wait, this smells of... glue!? Who the fsck put GLUE in my spray!?

...wow, it really looks like someone's out to get him.

M4r!k: It's a damn good thing I have my hat... all I need is a breath of fresh mint, and I'll be fine. *sprays another can* ...shit, this stuff is hot! ...Hot sauce!? Who in the... why... who is doing this and why are they after me!?

I almost feel bad for the poor guy.

M4r!k: This bites! I should've known all hell would break loose! I bet t3h author did this! That little wench can't go three minutes without torturing someone! Well, if I see her again, she dies! Plain and simple, I'll send her screaming to Hell!

B4kur4: Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary.

M4r!k: Why not?

Y4m!: We found who's switching your stuff around and making your night a living hell.

Y00g33: We should've known when R3x said it was someone inside the house. It's none other than M4l!k.

M4r!k: What!? Why? What did I ever do to you!?

M4l!k: Hello? I'm evil, d00d. I don't need a reason to make a nearly grown man cry.

M4r!k: You bastard! I was NOT crying!

M4l!k: Uh-huh. Right. And I DIDN'T video tape it.

M4r!k: That's it! You die right now!

Y4m!: Whoa, stop it! You heard t3h author. We can't kill fellow members off without an official grant from L!gh7.

M4l!k: That's a relief!

B4kur4: Besides, Yuff!3's going to be here in less than ten minutes.

M4r!k: What!? No! She... I'm still a mess! I can't go out there!

M4l!k: Chill, d00d. I wouldn't let you go out like that. It's not that bad. Here, just put this on and I guarantee she'll remember this night.

M4r!k: You... you're actually helping me?

M4l!k: I feel a bit bad for causing so much trouble. Besides, if t3h author finds out, she'll probably kill me.

M4r!k: That's actually nice of you. Thanks.

M4l!k: No problem, Mr. Awesomeness Squared. *puts corsage on M4r!k's shirt*

M4r!k: Thanks, everyone. Wish me luck on my date!

B4kur4: It does my heart good to know we're helping someone in dire need.

S3t0: Our little M4r!k's growing up! Soon, he won't even need a sippy cup for his drinks!

Y00g33: I can feel the waterworks going!

Unfortunately....

M4r!k: Well, I'm ready to go when you are. Shall we?

Yuff!3: ...all right... what is that horrible smell, though?

M4r!k: It might be my cologne. Someone switched it and I can't entirely wash the smell out.

Yuff!3: ...are you sure we should do this, M4r!k?

M4r!k: Positive! Anyway, here, this is for you. *hands her corsage*

Yuff!3: Awww, that's sw33t! Thank you! *corsage spews skunk juice on her* ACK! What the hell!?

M4r!k: What!? That... that's not... Yuff!3, are you all right!?

Yuff!3: Is this your idea of a joke, you asshole!?

M4r!k: Yuff!3, I didn't know! M4l!k gave me that corsage! I didn't...

Yuff!3: I knew this was going to be a bust! I just knew it! Goodnight, jerk!

M4r!k: Yuff!3, wait! I swear I didn't know! Just give me a chance!

Yuff!3: I wouldn't go out with you even if it meant saving the world!

M4r!k: I... I... damn it, M4l!k!!!! You had better fscking RUN by the time I get upstairs!

And so, with his date successfully ruined, M4r!k now must go and face that which destroyed it all. But, that's another story for another author. What will happen on the next episode? Tune in, same l33t time, same l33t place!