DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, Beyblade, or any references to any show. I simply made them all l33t.

It was a dark, stormy night on the set as three crossovers came out into the gloom...

7y50n: Hello there, our faithful watchers. Welcome to the l33t YGO studio. Let ol' 7y50n tell you a tale of woe... T'was the night before update, and all through the stage, the props had been crates, the m0nst3rz were caged...

R3!: But something was missing from the set, doncha know... No staff for the update, no l33tn3ss to show...

K4!: S4m! was waiting with her keyboard on stand, the l33t characters in l33t places, with l33t scripts in their hands.

7y50n: So now you know, with everything afret, we'll now take you to the l33t YGO set...

S4m!: Are you three quite done yet?

K4!: Well, we had another verse, but...

S4m!: No, I think you're done.

B4kur4: Get off the stage before I send you to H3ll.

7y50n: Sorry...

S4m!: It's all right. Anyway, I suspect our readers may want a synopsis on why we're having no episode tonight?

B4kur4: Most probably.

S4m!: True enough. It seems someone burned the script I did have planned, so today, we're simply going to show you all what it's like being a l33t character in a l33t world.

B4kur4: So, in other words, you're selling out?

S4m!: Just for this episode. First off, there's directing. That's all done by me personally.

M4l!k: Yeah... about that. Author, I have some bad news.

Sami: Uh oh... who died and which anime is suing us for it?

M4l!k: Death wasn't part of the problem. It's about the script.

S4m!: Did you actually find it!?

M4l!k: ...no. I was going to say that L!gh7 burned it.

S4m!: What!? He can't do that!

M4l!k: Technically, he's K!r4. He can do whatever he wants.

S4m!: But I'm t3h author! Damn it, he's dead for this!

S3t0: ...seems like everywhere we go, there's a mess.

Y4m!: Does anyone want to explain why t3h author went storming out and screaming about D34th N0t3?

M4l!k: I might have told her L!gh7 burned the scripts.

S3t0: Why would you tell her that!?

M4l!k: Getting rid of her seemed to be the best course of action.

Y4m!: But j00 burned the script. When she finds out, you're dead. Besides, why would you need to get rid of her?

M4l!k: Because I'm taking over the set tonight! Ph33r my l33t tour!

Y4m!/S3t0: We ph33r something, all right...

M4l!k: Now, as S4m! was saying, first stop is directing. And by that, I mean that we're pretty much forced to write whatever bit of garbage comes dribbling out of t3h author's mind. Usually, that involves some form of subtle comedy that no one will understand, or some form of wit against a show that really shouldn't be mentioned. Such as D34th N0t3 or L4w and 0rd3r.

Y4m!: But those are funny! T3h author doesn't write garbage!

M4l!k: Ph33r t3h ph4r40h?

Y4m!: ...point noted.

M4l!k: Anyway, we have absolutely no idea just how these shitty ideas even come to t3h author and her screwed up mind. I theorize dementia, personally, but others disagree. That's why I've decided to bring Ry0u over to help us out.

Ry0u: Please don't involve me in your plans...

M4l!k: Grow a backbone. Now, Ry0u has happily agreed to help us search t3h author's quarters and...

Ry0u: What!? I did no such thing! Unhand me this instant!

M4l!k: Shut up this instant. Now, want to know what j00r job is?

Ry0u: I'd rather be cleaning out toilets.

M4l!k: I said WANT TO KNOW WHAT J00R JOB IS!?

Ry0u: Fine...

M4l!k: Good. You're to sneak into her office and steal her notebook...

Y4m!: Who's making a D34th N0t3 reference?

M4l!k: Shut it, oldylocks. Anyway, we've supplied you with a vent to get to her room.

Ry0u: What!? I can't do that!

M4l!k: Sure you can. It's so easy, I bet Rusty could do it.

Ry0u: Do you have any idea what she'll do if she finds me!? I'll be killed! I'll be...

M4l!k: I see your mouth moving, but all I hear is gibberish. Get in there.

Ry0u: No!

M4l!k: Don't make me call B4kur4!

B4kur4: I'm already here. What's the problem?

M4l!k: Ry0u's being a whiny brat again.

B4kur4: Care to elaborate on that?

M4l!k: He refuses to crawl through the vent and spy on t3h author.

B4kur4: And why, my lovely light side, would you refuse that?

Ry0u: If I do this, she'll hate me! It took me three months to get her to like me! Three months! If I mess up, which is more than likely, all of the love I worked for will be void! I'll be miserable!

M4l!k: I can hear the razors as they dance on your skin, Ry0u.

B4kur4: Ry0u... help him or I'll banish j00 to a hell so terrible, not even Z0rk will scare you.

Ry0u: I hate me life! I hate it so much! *crawls into vent*

M4l!k: Nice. Now, comes script development. Despite the fact that t3h author has an idea, it still takes years for her to even bother writing it down! Hell, it took years to even get her to edit us!

B4kur4: Yeah. Can you say 'lazy as hell?'

S4m!: Considering the fact that I have a life to lead, I think you all should be grateful I even gave you a script.

B4kur4: Where the hell did j00 come from!?

S4m!: I 0wn t3h studio. I walk where I please.

M4l!k: Fair enough...

S4m!: So, in all things l33t and l4m3, what the hell have you both been up to? I don't trust either of you.

B4kur4: That's cold! For your information, we just sent Ry0u to...

M4l!k: To get you some soda! We were hoping to wrap the tour up so you didn't have to work too hard!

S4m!: Oh. How uncharacteristically nice of you. Well, I still need to find that bastard, L!gh7, so go and continue.

M4l!k: Thank you... *S4m! leaves* ...but we didn't ask for your approval.

B4kur4: Not that her disapproval would stop us. So, what's next?

M4l!k: Well, we got all the boring crap out of the way, so I figured we'd go where the real action is. The stage!

Y4m!: But no one's there. It's completely empty.

M4l!k: Shut up, ph4r40h. No one asked j00.

B4kur4: Yeah, why don't you go and du3l a m0nk3y?

Y4m!: Funny. I don't remember j00 being invited to help him, either.

M4l!k: Oooh! Touche! B4kur4, you heard t3h ph4r40h. Leave.

B4kur4: What!? You can't boot me out like that!

M4l!k: Yes I can. This is my tour. Now leave.

B4kur4: Fine. Your tour sucks ass anyway! I bet MY tour would be way better!

M4l!k: Good luck with that, moron. Anyway, TO THE STAGE!

Y4m!: *from far away* Someone turn off that Batman song!

M4l!k: ...mental note: Tell author that joke is lame. Anyway, the stage is where we put together the performance. Is the script is the blood of the episode, then the stage is the organs! And, even better, it's where we go to bond like a family!

J03y: What up, m4 h0m!3z?

M4l!k: GO AWAY BEFORE I RIP OUT YOUR SPLEEN AND EAT IT!

J03y: But you just said...

M4l!k: *takes out M. Rod and J04y runs away* ...anyway, like I was saying, we're all the best of friends here.

T34: Strong words coming from someone who tried to kill t3h author off last night.

M4l!k: Shut up, Friendly McFreakshow. Why the hell are j00 here, anyway?

T34: I'm making sure Yuff!3 doesn't off herself as she practices her ninja skillz.

M4l!k: Ninja... skillz? That'd explain why the statue of Obelisk is destroyed. Did she do that!?

T34: Yeah. She was trying to reinact T!tus's Bl!tz 4c3 from F!n4l F4nt45y X.

M4l!k: And she did a lot of damage. Doesn't she realize how pissed !sh!zu will be when she sees this?

T34: If she does, she probably doesn't care too much.

M4l!k: I smell newspaper headlines and media all around. '!sh!zu: Massmurdering freak or just a crazy wench bent on fate?'

T34: Neither. Besides, that... hey! Where are you going!?

M4l!k: *climbing up pole* To add some spice to this boring tour. Yuff!3, we need to talk.

Yuff!3: *is hanging off a rope* M4l!k, I'm a bit busy. Can this wait?

M4l!k: Nope.

Yuff!3: I'm going to regret this, but what do you want?

M4l!k: You just broke a statue of Obelisk. How do you feel knowing you're going to die soon?

Yuff!3: Death won't be happening. That statue was a fake. The real one is with t3h author. She knows better than to keep it here, where any schmoe on the street can break it.

M4l!k: Yeah, that's nice. *cuts rope and Yuff!3 falls* Now, who shall be my next victim?

S4m!: Victims will not be happening.

M4l!k: Oh hell. How did you get here!?

S4m!: I spoke with L!gh7. He has no idea what the hell you're talking about.

M4l!k: Oh, he's just lying to you. He's your archnemesis.

S4m!: Not even he's mean enough for that. He didn't burn the script, which means you just lied to me.

M4l!k: Oh, like it hasn't happened before!

S4m!: Lying about the script is a l33t offense. Prepare to be 0wn3d.

M4l!k: By what!?

S4m!: By the most ph33r3d bad guy since Tecmo went out on the RPG biz.

D0r4 C4t B00: Nyan!

M4l!k: ...you're kidding me. A pink cat!? I'm really supposed to be afraid of a pink cat?

S4m!: Not just a pink cat. A pink pirate cat.

M4l!k: ...and that really makes it any less of a wussy? Where the hell did you get it, anyway!?

Ry0u: Isn't it wonderful when a company does so poorly that you can just buy the rights for their lone RPG?

M4l!k: YOU! I should've known you'd botch this up for me!

B4kur4: Ry0u, how could you betray us like that!?

Ry0u: All I said was that I'd climb through the vent. I never said I'd spy on her afterwards. You didn't specify my job after the vent, therefore, I did nothing wrong.

B4kur4: ...damn, he got us there.

M4l!k: But... he... I said... and then... but how... and why...

S4m!: English, M4l!k. Sp33k English.

M4l!k: I can't... how did he... and where did he get that kind of money? And the cat... why is it pink? *walking off stage as he speaks* How did it get here, anyway?

Ry0u: I think we broke him.

S4m!: Just a little?

B4kur4: Probably more, but he'll be right as rain once he slaughters something.

Y4m!: So, what do we do now? Should we go on with the tour?

S4m!: Why bother? He's already wasted more than 5/6 of our time. We have to be off so Bl34ch can practice for their next showing. I say we roll the credits and get some sleep.

B4kur4: Agreed. Thank you all for watching... or not watching... S4m!'s l33t tour. We're terribly sorry for the way M4l!k handled things while S4m! was off investigating L!gh7's supposed theft of the script.

S4m!: By which he's very furious with. M4l!k, if you haven't run off yet, he knows where you live and what your name is.

Y4m!: So, join us next time when we have an actual episode, and good night! Huzzah!

S3t0: W00tz! Ch33rz!

And so, with the first l33t tour over and pretty much ruined, what will be in store for our heroes next time? Thankfully, it'll be soon since I figured a new way to input HTML very quickly. Join us next time, same l33t time, same l33t place!

... L!gh7: ...S4m? You here? ...good, she's gone. Hello there. K!r4 here to make an actual guest appearance. Now, first and forement, I'd like to apologize on S4m!'s behalf for this crappy display of l33tness. S4m! was crunched for time since someone really did go and burn her script to use as fire-fodder. But, in all honesty, it really wasn't that bad. Hell, just be glad I wasn't here. Or M3ll0. Or anyone else with access to guns and a vendetta against t3h author. So, honestly, if you really like t3h author, stay a while as she prepares the 8th l33t episode. Someone did burn her scripts again, so she pretty much lost everything. Thank you for listening to K!r4, and relax. I won't write j00 if you bail on her. I'll let her do the writing.