Welcome to Weather with Hiei! Here is where everyone's favorite demon will come to tell YOU about the many forms of weather! For now, there are no pics of him to actually show you he works here, but he does!

...and don't worry! He didn't threaten us in any way! Honest!

Hiei: Okay, I guess I have to tell you about the different forms of dumb weather. But where shall I start?!

Sunshine - Ah, I guess I'll start with this nasty type of weather. Sunshine is horribly foul in the fact that it really enjoys shining itself in your eyes so you can't see where you're going. Basically, I see no point in sunshine except for making flowers look pretty and knocking the elderly blind off a cliff.

Rain - This is obviously the opposite of sunshine, since it makes everything wet and slippery. It can also give you tons of different illnesses if you play in it for 3 - 4 hours. Woo. Anyway, this type of weather seems useless except that it helps flowers and plants grow. And it's not particularly romantic to take your girlfriend for walks in this weather.

Snow - Isn't it pretty to look at? Well, snow is very decieving. It makes everything very slippery and dangerous, plus it's COLD! Why would anyone want to go out and play in it?! Sure, snowball fights are fun, but what happens when you get slammed by a snowball and your brains fly out?! Actually, I think I might just like to see that... Anyway, snow sucks and you certainly shouldn't drive or play in snow.

Blizzard - Ah, one of the more romantic types of weather. This is where TONS of snow is gathered up by the wind and thrown about wherever it feels. Sometimes you can even hear the snow beating on your roof as it's thrown mercilessly by the wind! Sure, you can't walk in it, and okay, if you drive in it, you'll probably die, but a blizzard sure is fun to curl up on the couch and watch!

Tornado - This type of weather totally rocks! It's where the wind goes into a violent rage and smashes everything in its path! What's more pleasant than watch a cow soar across the skies or a car spin around in the air? A palm tree going higher and higher! And a tornado can make it happen! Personally, this is my favorite type of weather!

Fog - Ahhh, the weather which causes more death than cancer! This kind of bliss can cause the area to be covered in dense combos of water and cold so thick, you could stab it with a sword! What can possibly be more peaceful than having to pay $100 because you smashed into that tree you couldn't see? Having the torment of the fog clearing up immediately afterwards, of course! Isn't the whole heat vs. cold theory fun?

Sleet - Although not as severe as a blizzard, sleet is like having tons of tiny ice toothpicks come down on your roof and windows. The only bad thing to sleet is the fact that it makes the roads icy and difficult to drive. And also, as the footnote, beware of icy splinters, kids!

Drought - This is like sunshine to the extreme. It dries up everything and alot of plants and stuff tend to die. If you see a drought, don't flush any toilets because chances are nothing will happen, since there's no water to work the bathrooms. If you see any place with drought, don't be an idiot! Do a raindance and hope it works!

Wildfires - This is what happens when droughts get out of hand. Fires are fast and burn anything in its path. What can calm the spirits faster than this? Nothing I can think of, that's for sure! So, if you or a loved one are in the path of a raging fire... GET OUTTA THE WAY!! You'll only have about 3 seconds to do this, but hopefully you're fast, right?

Hurricanes - Ah, the rages of water. This is just like a tornado except it has water in it too. It causes tons of damage, but it'll be your plants watered and then some! And it looks like a giant swirly! :P

Earthquakes - Is that a rumble or just a big garbage truck? If your plates break, it's definitely a quake! Ah, nothing more fun and exhilarating than dodging falling debris and glass! And when your house falls, won't that be a blast? But never thou fear! If you can fly, not only do you get to stay alive during a quake, you just defied gravity too!

Tropical storms - Basically, I see no difference between these and hurricanes. See above HURRICANES.

Mudslides - These are a combonation of rain and earthquakes! It's like one giant slip 'n slide, only a lot slower, 'cause it's mud. Anyway, if mudslides are huge, it'll destroy a lot of stuff as it slides along the roads and terrain. So, if you're looking for some fun, get a trash lid or something and ride a mudslide!

Avalanches - These are just like mudslides but with snow. It's cold, and it's very fast. In fact, I haven't heard of one city ever surviving an avalanche without being buried 6 feet deep! Yeah, they keep you in for sometimes weeks on end as the snow slowly melts, but isn't sing-a-longs and hot dogs a blast?

Black outs - Okay, this isn't weather but it's fun to talk about. Basically you have no power whatsoever, and when it gets dark, it gets DARK. Good luck trying to read a book in this weather since it just ain't gonna happen, especially at night. But what could be more fun than scaring your siblings as you jump out of a closet during one of these?

Thunderstorms - Like RAIN, only ten times cooler. There's a lot of thunder and if you're lucky, a lot of lightning to go with it! Lightning strikes trees and houses and poles, causing some blackouts and a fire, but it's usually put out by the rain. Just don't play in a thunderstorm, but they say the chance of a thunder strike is 1 - 1000000000000, so you should be safe, right?!

Gales - Sadly, gales are rarely witnessed anymore... But man, are they powerful! Only a little less than a tornado, these things are still cool! Raging at winds of at max 50 MPH, and they're usually on mountain tops, these should in no way be overlooked! After all, what's funnier than someone tripping and losing their umbrella because of a gale?

Tidal waves - This is what happens when surfing gets out of control. Tidal waves are waves of water that crash along the shore. Sounds wimpy, right? WRONG! These waves are HUGE, averaging about 25+ feet in height! Plus they can crush glass, wood, and probably metal too. Be sure to stay out of the path of this baby!

Hail - Ah, the beauty of little stones smashing into someone's porche, or maybe a truck. Anyway, hail can come in many sizes from being as small as a pebble and as large as a watermelon! What can be more enjoyable than driving along peacefully when suddenly a giant ice rock smashed through your window? Only the fact that 1000 more are coming after it! Yes, hail is beautiful!

Meteor showers - What is more lovely than seeing an expensive sports car totalled by ice rocks? Millions of voices screaming in unison as they realize a giant meteor is going to wipe out the planet! Hooray! Ah, the sounds of fiery boulders roaring across the sky is as peaceful as a harpy screeching in your ears. Needless to say, you won't need a blanket in this weather, so why not enjoy the show?

Solar flare - I guess this is when the sun blows up, but I have no idea! No info for this.

Hiei: Wasn't that fun, boys and girls?

That's your idea of weather!? Geez.... Sorry, folks, but seeing as how I had to pay Hiei to do this, I can't change this.

Hiei: But enjoy the weather and watch, because more weather will be posted!