Welcome, students, to the International School of L33tsp34k. Here you'll learn not only what l33t is, but also learn to master and speak this mystical language. Well, okay, it's not mystical. But it's fun to write! So, onto our first lesson!

What is L33tsp34k?

So, first thing's first. L33tsp34k is a funny, and confusing, way to write to people. Originally it was a hackers' language, but today it's just something us bored otakus like to study! Basically, you substitute numbers and symbols for some letters, for example 3 can be E. But more on that later. At first, the only l33tsp34k was just a bunch of 1's and 0's, like binary, but now it's a bunch of symbols and numbers, although some letters can't be substituted.

What good is l33t?

There's actually no benefit to learning L33tsp34k. Except if you like to harass your neighbors with confusing codes they'll never understand! X)

How do I enroll in the school?

If you continue to read this, you're automatically in the school. It's a one-shot lesson, meaning this is where ALL the l33t info I know is. Feel free to come back whenever you need.

Okay, that's the general info about the school. Now I think we ought to cover a few rules, student.

Rulez

1. Thou shall not use l33t in anything other than writing. Doing so is not only be impossible, but also mildly embarrassing.
2. Thou shall not use l33t for evil.
3. If you do use l33t for evil, you'll have to pay Gerenal P!x!3 57!x $50 for each charge.
4. Thou shall not teach l33t to the undead. Doing so is useless as undead don't write.
5. Thou shall not try to filter out everything from their computers except l33tsp34k. If you did that, you'd have nothing except random numbers.
6. L33tsp34k is NOT A TOY! It's dangerous and only those worthy can truly master it. (Meaning you if you try hard enough!)

Okay, that's enough rules. Now, we need to get you started in the right direction. To do that, you'll need a basic number-letter transfer guide. Luckily, I have one below. Aren't I nice?

Really easy number-letter Transfer guide!

1 - L
2 - Z (in some cases)
3 - E
4 - A
5 - S (in most cases)
7 - T
9 - G (lowercase only)
0 - O

And there you have it! That's very basic l33tsp34k, so master it well. As you can see, most of the transfers are vowels or common letters. So, think you're ready for a more advanced lesson? Head below for a symbol-letter transfer guide!

Advanced symbol-letter Transfer guide!

\/ - V
\/\/ - W
/\/ - N
/\/\ - M
! - I
( - C
|) - D
|< - K
As you can see, there aren't so many transfers in symbols. Anyway, once you write these easy-to-remember transfer guides, it's time for ADVANCED L33TSP34K!!!

Did you know that l33t isn't just about numbers? L33t is about creativity! Well... okay, there's nothing really "creative" about spelling words wrong, but it IS a lot of fun. First thing's first. If you plan to sp34k l33t, you must master the use of Z and X.

The use of Z and X

Z is a special letter in the world of l33t. It can mean the difference between one and many. For instance, instead of an S, in l33t, you put a Z to mean "more than one." Still confused? Well, lucky you. I'm a nice guy... or girl. Anyway, here are some examples.

owns - ownz
burns - burnz
men - manz

And also, just as Z is special, X is also a highly honored letter here in l33t. No, it doesn't mean death or ill fortune. X is used to substitue a number of letters to make sentences shorter. Here are some examples to help j00.

socks - sox
rocks - rox
packs - pax
sticks - stix

Okay, maybe those weren't the best of examples... Anyway, now for part two of lesson 2! The proper suffixes for l33tsp34k!

Proper suffixes to l33t

Okay, you do know what a suffix is, right? It's the ending to a word such as "-ed" and "-ing." Well, in l33t, suffixes are just as important. Why, I can think of just two that you'll need in the world of l33t. Yes, "-ed" is one of them. But what about the highly overlooked and never-used-in-school-because-it's-not-proper-English "-ored?" Yes, it IS a suffix in l33t. Pay attention and stop looking in the English book.

Yes, now you know the two main suffixes in l33t. Now you want to know how to use them? Well, again, I'm a nice girl. Here are some words you can use in l33t with just these suffixes!

"-ED" words

owned - ownzed (l33t: 0\/\//\/z3d)
maxed - maxxed (l33t: /\/\4xx3d)

"-ORED" words

maxed - maxored (l33t: /\/\4x0r3d)
hacked - haxored (l33t: h4xx0red)

For now, that's really all I can think of, but there's some more important stuff to discuss. So far, we've only been talking about the transfer system and suffixes in l33t. But what about words? What about sentences? Well, although it will take TOO long to transform every word in the world to l33t st4nd4rdz, I will provide the most commonly used words and some easy sentences for you to use. For now, let's go with words.

Common words in l33t and how to sp3ll them. (Don't look in a textbook for these)

3y3 - eye (can be used to mean I as in yourself in formal speak)
d00d - dude
s\/\/33t - Sweet! (as in "Great!" or "Awesome!")
0\/\/nz3d - owned (to mean that someone owns something, mostly to be used to say that someone just kicked your butt at a game.)
31337 - elite (used in conjunction with other words to form a title. I.E. 31337 H4xx0r = Elite Hacker)
W00t - Woo hoo! (basically it's a l33t way of showing happiness at say, getting a high score on something.)
r0x - rocks (usually used when someone did something fantastic, used with d00d alot. I.E. "d00d, j00 r0x!" = "Dude, that rocked!")
j00 - You
j0! - Yo!
g4m3z - games

And now, it's time to put all these wonderful little words together to make some sentences. Since you're still starting out, I'll give basic sentences and you can add on from there.

Short sentences for j00 to use! (Cool for you, annoying for everyone else!)

\/\/h04! S\/\/33t m0v3z, d00d! - Wow, what wonderful agility, friend!
D00d, /-/urry up! ! g0tt4 us3 7h3 b4thr00m! - Excuse me, but I need to use the bathroom.
H3y! T/-/4t d00d ju57 f4!nt3d! W3 g0tt4 m0v3 0r h3'll b3 0n 4 d4t3 w!th d34th! - Quickly! We must get this person to the hospital before his condition worsens!
My c0mpu73r g0t t0t4lly h4xx0r3d... - Someone hacked my computer!
!t'z 7h3 c0pz! Ru/\/ f457, d00d! - It's the cops! Run fast, dudes!
D00d, wh3r3'z 7h3 h4mburg3r 5t4nd? - Excuse me, but do you know where I can purchse lunch?

Not much, but for now, that will be enough l33t until next time.