Inspired by the awesome movie of Pirates of the Carribean, I present to you... Nekogal #3's guide to being a PIRATE! But, I know what you're thinking. "Neko, you already HAVE a page for Ninjas! Why would I want to be a pirate!?" Well, there's tons of reasons. One, pirates have some snazzy dresswear. Two, pirates get to drive a boat. And three, pirates are actually STRONGER than ninjas! Well, okay, maybe they aren't, and maybe eyepatches and peg legs aren't the latest styles, but hell, pirates are GREAT!
Now, before you go "Yo ho aho-ing," you need to know a few facts about pirates before you can put on a parrot and squawk with the best of them. Now, first and foremost, pirates and ninjas hate each other. It's a pretty known fact that if a pirate and a ninja meet, they have to try and kill each other. Why that is isn't known, yet, but they just do. So remember, steer clear of any ninjas and you'll be fine.
Next off, you should know what we require for you to join our fine elite corp. Most pirates are brave and grumpy, but you also have to be sharp, have a watchful eye, and you have to accept that you (and your boat) will smell like fish guts all of the time. Also, we require that you have a passport so you don't get held up when crossing an oceanic border. It's not easy shelling out $3000 just for a motorboat, so think of how much a PIRATE BOAT will cost us!
And finally, the final fact, is that if you're to be a pirate, you'll need a crew. I know what you're thinking here, too. "WHAT!? Why do I need a CREW! Come on, man! REAL pirates do everything themselves! They'll take on Neptune if they have to, and they won't just sit inside playing Patty-Cake with their wimpy crew!" Okay, I hear you, but let's face it. You can't just do EVERYTHING on your on, you'll need at least a little help. That's where your crew comes in. This hardy team of motley adventurers will gladly sit around and drink your beer, awaiting your orders and waiting for you to load them up with crap until their backs break. Why, without a crew, you'd have to drive your ship all the time! And who wants to do that? So, get a crew or you won't get far in the ocean.
Okay, we've got the important mumbo-jumbo out of the way, so now you're probably thinking you're ready to take on Leviathan himself, right? Well, you're DEAD wrong, and you will die if you try that. But luckily, I'm a nice girl, so I'll happily provide you with a list of tools you'll need. And we'll start with the most important tool first. Your boat. Yes, this thing is magical and grand in every way, isn't it? It'll take you to magical places, where you'll meet magical faces, and best of all, you can decorate it however you want, and no one can yell at you for it, either! Of course, these babies tend to go for more than a car would, so unless you're rich, you might just want to borrow or steal one. But regardless of HOW you get one (which will be explained later), you'll need the important stuff so that your boat, and you, can survive. Here's a list for what your ship should have, and why:
There! That should be enough to at least start you off until you go plundering a dungeon or three! Now, before we go onto the rules and ettiquet of piratehood, again, we need to discuss your boat. How will you get one? As stated earlier, boats cost a ton of money, and you can't just simply take a $50,000 bill out, can you? No, so you need other alternatives. Thankfully, I'm pretty experienced on how to obtain a boat, whether it's for a day or a century!
Getting your boat - Because sometimes a car isn't enough...
1. Buying a boat - Okay, so you're a rich boy, and probably not pirate material. Still, at least you can afford a boat! Now, if you're only going to be out on sea for a few days, a motorboat works just dandy unless you're really hurting for room. Unfortunately, since you can't simply buy pirate ships, this option really is good for motorboats.
2. Borrowing a boat - You can't afford a boat. You also don't want to just up and steal one either. That's pretty honorable of you, and smart too. Pirates hate being stolen from, anyway. This way's pretty tough, since not everyone has an authentic Revenge model lying around. Still, asking is nicer than any other way. I've found asking to borrow Grandpa's old fishing boat works best, plus it probably has most of what you need on it!
3. Stealing a boat - So, you decided to go the evil way and just steal, eh? Well, good luck avoiding both pirates and cops. This is probably the hardest, and stupidest way to get a boat. Basically, you're going to need to know how to either brawl it out, fence, or just run like a schoolgirl if you plan on actually going through with this method and surviving. If you manage to get a boat this way, how the hell you did so will probably be recorded in history. Way to go! Of course, you'll still need to explain to your parents why you were brought home by the authorities.
4. Finding a boat - This is probably the least likely to happen, but it's the most rewarding. If you're not rich enough for a boat, nor do you want to ask, nor are you dumb enough to hijack one, this bizarre method is for you! As you scale the rugged cliffs near the sea, you might just see the tip of a lookout and a sail! If so, congrats. You've found a boat, or at least part of one! Chances are, it'll be buried underwater, but if you manage to drag it onto land and dry it out, you successfully have a boat you can use to gloat to your friends about!
And there, you have a few basic ways to get your boat. The rate of success varies depending on how strong, charismatic, or adventurous you are, so beware. But here's the good news! Now that we have the boat out of the way, we can explain something even more important. Weaponry. Yes, you heard me right. Pirates tend to have to fight a lot, so making sure you have the best armor available is pretty much second nature.
Weapons for Pirates - Because some pirates just aren't very talkative.
There's the list of the basic equipment most pirates use. Now, if you need to improvise, be my guest, matey. There's probably 100000 different items you could use to hack and slash your way through Davey Jones' locker, and anything that works is a plus! So, now that you know about boats and weapons, I bet you're thinking you can sail the seven seas, eh? Well, while we've come pretty far, we're not done yet, ye landlubber. We may have covered stuff like how to get a boat or what type of weapon kicks butt, but you still need to learn the rules of being a pirate! Now, don't walk the plank just yet, my beer-drinking beauty. Everything in this world has rules, and just because we steal and pillage doesn't mean we're an exception. Now, since I'm a nice, ol' seacaptain of a girl, I'll be more than happy to help you swab the deck of the rulebook. Are ye ready?
Rules for pirates - Because even pirates have to evade the law!
1. Pirates can steal anything they want, as long as there's a distraction around for them to sneak away from.
2. Pirates may take hostages, but only for a valid reason. In no way is a pirate ever allowed to kill someone innocent.
3. All captains must fill out the proper parchments when entering and leaving a port. Not doing so will result in your boat being towed.
4. All pirates are required to fill out registration for their crew. This applies, but is not limited to: all crewmates, relatives, hostages. passengers, and animals. Not doing so will result in a 500 dubloon fine.
7. Pirates may only start fights if they're 500 feet away from any form of civilization. Any closer, and they'll be arrested and fined 1000 dubloons for anyone who may have been hurt.