| peter |
Harm Goes Flying |
January 5, 2004 |
Disclaimer: The characters of JAG are the property of Donald Bellisario and Bellisarius Production, Inc. Used without permission. No copyright infringement intended. May be reproduce if unchanged, author given full credit, and no financial transaction is involved.
Spoilers: End of the fourth season, beginning of the fifth.
Author Notes: Feedback is greatly appreciated and welcomed.
1800 hours Sunday
1 Aug 1999
Mac's Apartment
Mac had just returned from Arizona. She had gone to Arizona to deal with issues she had with her dying father. The man she had hated since time began. She had wanted to resolve her unresolved feelings with him, but she had arrived there too late. He had lapsed into a coma. Father Genarno had helped her to work through a lot of her issues with her father. But the best thing that happened while she was there was she saw her mother for the first time in seventeen years They had talked about why her mother left and why she was left behind. She invited her mother to come visit her. Her mother said she would be able to in ten days and agreed to come before the end of the month. Mac could hardly wait to call Harm and tell him all about her trip. She was finally beginning to feel good about herself She wasn’t angry anymore. She didn’t hate her father any more and she was going to renew her relationship with her mother. Harm would be proud of her. He always seemed to be there to help her resolve the problems that she didn’t want to deal with. She decided to call him and invite him over for dinner.
1900 Hours
Mac's Apartment
There was a knock at the door. Mac, who had earlier changed into a nice pair of blue jeans and red blouse, went over to the door to let Harm in. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a blue shirt. By did he look good Mac thought to herself. “Good evening fly boy. It’s so nice to see you. Did you miss me while I was gone?” asked Mac seductively. “Good evening to you too ninja girl. You’re looking lovely tonight. Have you been away? I’ve been so busy this past week I didn’t know which end was up.” smiled Harm as he tried to be cute. “Don’t you tried to get cute with me stick boy. You are the one who got me to go to Arizona to resolve my issues with my father.” replied Mac as she whacked him on his shoulder. “You're right again ninja girl. I can’t seem to fool you any more. You seem to know all my tricks. And yes, I did miss you.” smiled Harm. “Thank you for missing me fly boy. You better believe it, I know all your little secrets.” chuckled Mac. “Well you do know most of them, but I still have a few you don’t know about. By the way how was your trip?” asked Harm. He figured it must have gone well. She was in playful mood.
“Well it was very frustrating when I first arrived, but it turned out to be a very good trip.” replied Mac. “That’s good to hear. Why don’t you tell me about it?” asked Harm curiously. “First off it was a very long and tedious flight. The flight was delay for two hours. When I finally did get to the hospice where my father was staying, he had already lapsed into a coma. That made me even more irritated and furious then before. I did a lot of stomping and growling.” replied Mac solemnly. “No way, not you ninja girl.” chuckled Harm. “Ha, Ha Harm. You’re very funny stick boy. I took it out on the padre who was running the hospice. He slowly and patiently helped me resolve the issues I had with my father. He showed me newspaper clippings my father kept in his wallet Harm, my father was proud of me. He was proud of my accomplishments. I can’t explain how good that made me feel.” responded Mac. “It makes me happy to see you this way. You should be able now to let go of the past and move forward.” smiled Harm. She really does look like a new person now.
“You were right about going to Arizona. It has allowed me to feel so much better about myself. But that isn’t the best news Harm” smiled Mac. “It isn’t Sarah?” asked Harm. “No. I saw my mother while I was there. She had been contacted by the padre too. At first she wasn’t going to come, but then she thought I might be there. So she took a chance and came. She’s going to come and visit me for a few weeks later this month.” replied Mac very happily. She was on cloud nine. “I’m so happy for you, Sarah. This definitely is great news. We should go out and celebrate.” responded an elated Harm. It seem all her demons, the sense of abandonment and not worthy of being love, were finally disappearing. “How about tomorrow night? I’m pretty tired from the trip to go out tonight. We can order a pizza.” asked Mac hesitantly “That sounds like a good idea. I have some good news too my little ninja girl.” replied Harm excitedly.
“Oh pray tell old great one what could it be?” asked Mac sarcastically. “I took Sarah up last weekend while you were away. You weren’t around and I had nothing better to do. I stay out too long before I got back to the airfield. By the time I got back to the airfield it was getting petty dark. I landed the plane without too much difficulty. I went to the doctor and had my eyes checked out. I though that my night blindness had gone away. smiled Harm. “What did the doctor say?” asked Mac. “He told me that night blindness doesn’t go away. But that wasn’t my problem.” replied Harm. “What was the problem?” asked Mac. “I was misdiagnosed. I have retinal scarring. Which could be fix. They had scheduled me for laser surgery in six months, but when they had a cancellation, I had it done last week.” replied Harm. “How did it go?” asked Mac. “Well I was pretty nervous at first about having it done, but it seems to have work out great. I can see so much better at night now. It supposed to get better over the next couple of months.” responded Harm. “That great fly boy. I wish I could have been there for you like you’re always been there for me. I’m so happy for you” replied Mac as she began to wonder what this all meant. Did it mean he would leave to go back to flying?
“You’ve been there for me more times then I can count. If it hadn’t been for the cancellation I would have like to have you there with me. I really could have used your support. But it just happened so fast.” replied Harm as he tied to reassure Mac. “So what does all this mean?” asked a worried Mac. “It means that I can fly jets again full time if I choose.” replied Harm happily. “Are you sure you want to do that. You have a very promising career at JAG. The Admiral is grooming you to be his successor.” replied Mac shakily.
“Changing my designator to an aviator just gives me more options. Besides you know how much I love to fly. I had to quit flying before because of the night blindness. I didn’t leave because I wanted to. I left because I had to. I couldn’t see well enough at night to make carrier landings. If I go back to flying and later decide to leave, I will be doing so under my own terms.” “I really don’t want to see you leave JAG but I will support your decision if you choose to do so.” replied Mac as she fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes. “Thank you Sarah, I knew you’d understand.” smiled Harm. Mac’s heart was breaking. She didn’t understand. Why was he thinking of giving up a promising career to go back to flying. Why was he leaving her. Chloe was leaving soon to go to Vermont to live with her grandparents. Now Harm might be leaving her too. Why did people she loved always have to leave her?
2000 hours Monday
2 August 1999
Mac’s favorite Italian Restaurant
The next day Harm took Mac out to a Mac’s favorite Italian restaurant for a night of dining and dancing. Mac had a wonderful time. She was glowing. Harm was calling her Sarah, her given name. She always felt special when he did. He was holding her real close while they dance. She loved the feeling of being in his arms. He was treating her like a princess. She was very happy. Why couldn’t they do this all the time. She love Harm and didn’t want to see him. Why couldn’t he love her as she loved him.
1900 hours Tuesday
10 Aug 1999
Mac's apartment
Chloe came to visit Mac for a few weeks before she had to go back to school at the end of the month. She was leaving to live with her new found grandparents in Vermont. Mac wasn’t very happy. She had gotten use to seeing Chloe on a regular basis. She loved having Chloe around. She like being a big sister. It has given her the opportunity to help out someone less fortunate then she, like her uncle had done for her. She was also getting to an age where her maternal instincts were kicking in big time and she didn’t have a man in her life. She couldn’t see anyone in her future to give her a child to love. Chloe filled most of those needs. It also gave her an idea how wonderful it would be when she had her own children. She really cared about Chloe. She was going to miss Chloe a lot.
“So Sarah, how is the love of your life doing? Is he going to come and visit while I’m here? When are the two of you going to get married?” asked Chloe curiously. “Whom are you talking about Chloe? I don’t have any man in my life right now. You know that.” replied a perplexed Mac. “Yeah right. You’re hopelessly and madly in love with your fly boy Harmon Rabb. I can see it every time you see him or talk about him.” smiled Chloe. “Well I’m not sure if he’s in love with me. And even if he was, it’s against regulations Chloe. And you know how Harm is about regulations.” replied Mac. Why is she talking about this. She’s too young to understand matters of the heart “Well I know he is in love with you Sarah. You can’t let other people decide who you should love. Only you can determine that.” replied Chloe wondering why Mac wouldn’t admit that she loved Harm. “You don’t know that Chloe. You are letting your vivid imagination run wild He has never given me any indication that he is in love with me. He’s just a good friend who’s there for me when I need him.” responded Mac.
God, why doesn’t he love me like Chloe thinks he does “I know for a fact he is in love with you. He is always looking at you when you’re around and you aren’t looking at him. He has a big silly grin on his face whenever you talk to him. And finally he spends a lot of time day dreaming with a silly look on his face after he has spent time with you” chuckled Chloe. “How do you know all this?” asked Mac. “I get bored very easily. So I like to watch how people interact with each other. The average person who walks in on you and Harm can see how you two respond to each other. They all think that you two have been married at least ten years. You both display so much love towards each other that it is almost sickening How either one of you doesn’t see how much the other is in love with you is completely beyond me.” smiled Chloe.
2000 hours
Mac's apartment
Later that evening Harm stopped by Mac’s apartment. He wanted to talk to Mac about his decision to return to flying. He knocked on the door and held his breath. This was going be very difficult. Chloe rushed over and to let him in. She was very happy to see him. She said hello to Harm and she gave him a big hug after he picked her up. “Hello Chloe, how are you doing?” asked Harm. “I’m doing just fine Harm. Sarah and I have been painting our fingernails and toenails crimson red. What do you think?” asked Chloe cutely. “I think they look just lovely. Sarah, I didn’t know you painted your nails?” asked Harm as he gave her a big smile “How else did you think they changed colors fly boy?” smile Mac coyly. “I guess I never really thought about it before.” smiled Harm.
“Typical squib, What brings you over tonight stick boy?” asked Mac. He usually didn’t just show up. He usually called if it was important. “I wanted to say hello to Chloe and see how she was doing before she left us to live with her grandparents. I also need to talk to you about something Sarah.” replied Harm hesitantly. Mac began to feel weak-knee. Harm had used her given name twice already tonight. He didn’t call her Sarah very often. She liked it when he did but wondered why he was using it tonight. Maybe Chloe was right. Maybe Harm did love her. “Leave us Harm. I thought she was leaving me flyboy. We aren’t a couple you know. So what do you want to talk about Harm?” asked Mac with a smiled. “Well we’re partners aren’t we. Anything that effects you, effects me Sarah. I wanted to update you on our discussion from last week. But I can see that you are busy.” apologized Harm.
“It’s ok Harm, I can find something to do in the other room if you two need to talk.” interrupted Chloe. “Thank you Chloe.” answered Harm. “OK Harm, spill it.” replied Mac. She was dreading what was coming next. She was hoping he was going to change his designator but.... “I went in to talk to the Admiral the other day about changing my designator to aviator.” replied Harm hesitantly “What did he say?” ask Mac quietly. Her fears were coming true “He wasn’t very happy when I told him I wanted to change my designator. He asked me if I was unhappy being here at Jag. I told him that I’ve been happy at Jag. That this was something I had to do. Also I hadn’t made any career decisions yet. But he gave me the same speech you gave to me last week. I told him I was doing it so I would have more options, but he really didn’t believe me.” replied Harm. “You really didn’t expect him to, did you? You’re the son he never had. So what is he going to do?” asked Mac. “Well, as much as he doesn’t like the idea, he said he would call in a few favors to make it happen.” answered Harm. “He has always said to come to him when we needed assistance He should feel good that you did.” replied Mac. “I hope you’re right Mac.” responded Harm.
Chloe came out of the next room. “Aren’t you guys done yet?” asked a bored Chloe. “You’ve been talking for a long time. “I guess we are finished talking for now. Sarah has told me that you are going to be living with your new grandparents. I hope you will be happy. I’m going to miss you sweetie.” smiled Harm. “I’m going to miss you too Harm. You’re the nicest man I have ever known.” Chloe went over to him and gave him a big hug before Harm walked to the door. No wonder why Mac loves this girl thought Harm. Kind of makes you wish you have one of your own. “I can see why Sarah loves you.” continued Chloe. “Chloe!” wailed Mac as she tap her. “Thank you Chloe.” smiled Harm. What a precocious little girl. The things she says. I wonder if it is true, that Sarah loves me. “It seems everyone I care for is leaving me.” wailed Mac. Harm looked a little puzzle, but turned around and left. Mac had tears starting to flow down her cheeks. Chloe saw this and told her that she loved her and Harm loved her too.
1900 hours Thursday
12 Aug 1999
Mac's apartment
Mac was sitting in the living room at home going over some files Chloe was in the other room watching television when the telephone rang. It was her mother (Deanne). “Hello, this is Sarah MacKenzie.” answered Mac. “Hello Sarah, this is your mother. I’m calling to let you know I’ll be arriving at Dulles International Airport tomorrow night at 1900 hours. I was wondering whether you could pick me up?” asked Deanne “Hello mom, it’s so good to hear your voice. Sure I can pick you up tomorrow. I’ll see if Harm will come along with me.” replied a happy Mac.
“Thank you Sarah. I’m looking forward to meeting the young man who’s responsible for bringing us back together and who is so important in your life. You really have blossom into a very special woman.” responded a prideful Deanne. “You’re going to love him mom. He’s tall, very good looking, and has a great smile. He has helped me purge my demons. He is always there for me when I need him. He has given me a purpose in my life. I look for opportunities now to give instead of always wanting something or someone.” smiled Mac. “He sounds like a wonderful young man Sarah. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you honey.” replied a remorseful Deanne. “He is mom and it’s alright I know dad may it impossible for you to stay. I’ve missed you so much All I want now is for you to be in my life. I got you a hotel room near by. I would have like you to stay with me but my place is too small.” responded Mac quietly, hoping not to cause her mother to change her mind.
“It’s ok Sarah. I understand. I’m just so happy to have my baby girl back in my life. I love you more then you can imagine. I want to be there for you now whenever you need me.” replied a tearful Deanne. “Thank you mom, I love you too. I belong to the big sisters program. I have a little sister name Chloe. She quite a handful. But I love her so much. She reminds me a lot of myself at that age. She’s staying with me this week. I think you’ll love her as much as I do.” smiled Mac. “I’m sure I will dear. I have to go Sarah. I’ll see you tomorrow dear. Bye.” replied Deanne. “Good night mom, see you tomorrow.” replied Mac.
“I knew you loved him.” smiled Chloe with satisfaction “What? Have you been eavesdropping on me Chloe Madison?” asked Mac. “Only the part where you were talking about Harm. If you don’t mind, who were you talking to on the telephone?” asked an inquisitive Chloe. “That was my mother. She’s coming to visit me tomorrow Do you want to come along with me when I go to the airport to pick her up?” smiled Mac. “I thought you didn’t know where your mother was. That she abandon you when you were in highschool.” quizzed a puzzled Chloe. “Remember when I told you about my father dying?” asked Mac patiently. “Yeah.” replied Chloe. “Well, my mother was there at the hospice. We reconnected and she’s coming for a visit.” smiled Mac happily. “Is Harm going to the airport too?” asked Chloe. “I was planning to ask him tomorrow.” replied Mac. “Good, then I will go with you and Harm to pick up your mother.” smiled Chloe.
1000 hours Friday
13 Aug 1999
JAG Headquarters
The next morning Mac was ready for a break. She looked into Harm’s office through the window between their offices. He was busy looking over some paperwork. She loved him so much. If only he loved her as much as she love him. She went to the break room and got a couple cups of coffee. She went back across the bullpen area to Harm’s office. She knocked on his door. “Enter!” smiled Harm as he looked up from the paperwork on his desk and saw the vision named Sarah. “Do you have a minute Harm?” asked Mac with a smile. “I have two for you.” chuckled Harm Boy, she always seems to look so good.
“Thank you fly boy. My mother is coming to visit me today. I’m going to the airport tonight to pick her up. Chloe is coming with me and she wants you to come along too.” Mac commented quietly hoping that he would. “What about you? Do you want me to come Sarah?” smiled Harm as he watch Mac’s face blush at the mention of her given name “Of course I do Harm. I wouldn’t have ask if I didn’t want you to come.” blushed Mac. “Then I accept. What time is she arriving?” asked Harm. After all the years of feeling abandonment he knew Mac must be very happy her mother was visiting her. He knew the feeling. He lost his father at a very young age. Even though he knew his father really didn’t abandon him, it still felt the same. “About 1900 hours.” replied Mac.
“I guess I’ll follow you home after work, we can pick up Chloe. We can take my SUV since you can’t put more than two adults in your little car.” smiled Harm. “Thank you Harm. I really appreciate this.” replied Mac as she gave Harm a small hug. “We can go out afterwards to get something to eat. And that does not include Beltway Burgers.” smiled Harm. “Oh, come on Harm. That my favorite place in the world to eat.” begged Mac. She knew how much Harm hated Beltway Burgers. She really like to tease him when it came to food. Maybe he was going to take them some place really nice. “No it’s not your favorite place Sarah. It just happens to be the place you can afford. I’ll take you to that fancy Italian place that you like so much.” smiled Harm seductively “Thank you Harm, You’re so sweet.” smiled Mac. She was glowing now. “Don’t let that get around. It would ruin my perfect reputation.” chuckled Harm. He love seeing her happy.
Mac laughed and went back to her office to finish up some work She started to daydream. Harm was calling her Sarah again, her given name. She always felt special when he did. It sounded so nice coming from him. In fact he had been calling her Sarah all week. Maybe he did love her after all like Chloe said.
1900 hours
Dulles International Airport
After work Harm and Mac went back to her place to drop off her car and pick Chloe up. Later they arrived at the airport. When they saw Mac’s mother getting off the plane, Harm and Chloe stayed back to let Mac greet her mother by herself. They hugged and kiss. They exchanged pleasantries. Mac brought her mother over to meet Harm and Chloe. They exchanged greetings and then went to pick up her bags.
2000 hours
Mac's favorite Italian Restaurant
They drove back to DC. and went to Mac’s favorite Italian Restaurant. They went inside and got a table. A waiter came over and they all order their food and drinks. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. MacKenzie. Sarah told me she saw you a couple of weeks ago when her father died.” smiled Harm as he started up the conversation. “Please call me Deanne, Harm. Yes, I did see her there. I took a chance that she might show up at the hospice It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have felt guilty for so many years. I didn’t know if she would forgive me. I’m glad she did” replied Deanne.
“Sarah is a very special lady Deanne. She’s an outstanding marine and lawyer. And I’ve had the privilege of having her for my partner the last three years. How was the trip Deanne?” asked Harm. “It was a good flight. But the seats were a little uncomfortable After my conversation with Sarah a couple weeks ago I went to Kansas to see my brother Matt. He told me about how he met you and what you did for him. He told me about how proud of Sarah he was and her accomplishments. He also told me about how you and Sarah met.” smiled Deanne. She understood now why Sarah was in love with him now. He was perfect. She thought back when Sarah was a preteen Sarah’s favorite story was how she was going to meet the man of her dreams and get married. She was going to meet him in a rose garden.
“How long are you staying mom?” asked Mac. She hoped that it would be for awhile. “Till the end of the month Sarah If that is alright with you.” replied Deanne. “It’s ok with me mom. I’m so happy to see you again. I wish you could stay longer wailed Mac quietly as she hugged her mother. “Thank you dear. I wish I could too. But my boss would only let me off till the end of the month. Maybe I can stay longer next time. You know I love you sweetie.” Deanne responded with a tear in her eye. “I love you too mom. Hey, maybe we can get fly boy here to take us sight seeing this weekend around the city.” smiled Mac as looked over to Harm. He was always there for her when she needed him. He was being a prince taking her and her mother to dinner and welcoming her. “I’ve been put on the earth to serve you ninja girl. Your wish is my command.” smiled Harm as he returned the gaze. She looked so happy that her mother was here with her and Chloe. It felt real good to be here tonight. “If only that was really true fly boy.” replied Mac quietly.
Harm and Mac continue to banter back and forth over the next hour. This amused Chloe and Deanne. Deanne was very please to see this side of Mac. This was how she was before her husband Joe started drinking and abusing her Sarah looked very happy. “Chloe, do they always behave this way with each other?” asked Deanne. “I’ve only known them for a short period of time. But they do seem to feed off each other. They seem to connect on a level that most people aren’t even aware of. I think that they can actually read each other’s mind. I think they are in love with each other, but are too afraid to admit it to themselves never mind to each other.” replied Chloe with a big smile.
“I think you’re right Chloe. They seem like the perfect couple to me. I haven’t seen Sarah this alive and happy since she was a young girl. I think we need to push them to the next level.” smiled Deanne as she looked at Mac. She had grown into a beautiful woman despite her abandonment and her father’s abuse. She was glowing as she bantered with Harm. She deserved to be happy. “I’ve been working on Sarah Trying to get her to admit to herself that she loves Harm. I’ll do anything to get them to take the next step and admit their feelings to each other. I want her to be happy.” replied Chloe despondently. “Good, I think I’m really going to enjoy myself here. Sarah was right about you Chloe. You are a special young lady. You are a lot like her when she was your age.” smiled Deanne. “Thank you Mrs. MacKenzie. That is the best complement you can give me. I want to be like her when I grow up. Although I don’t know if I want to be a marine.” smiled Chloe.
“Well mom, I think it’s time we get you to your hotel and get you settle in. We can make plans for the weekend tomorrow.” declared Mac. “OK Sarah. You were right about Harm. He seems to be a wonderful young man. I'm so happy you’ve found someone like him to be in your life.” responded Deanne. “Thank you mom.” replied Mac sadly. It’s too bad he plans on leaving to fly F-14’s.
1000 hours Monday
16 Aug 1999
JAG Headquarters
Harm went to Mac’s office and knocked on the door. Mac let him in and they both sat down. He had just come back from a coffee and muffin run after his meeting with the admiral. “Good morning Harm. What’s going on with you?” asked Mac. “Good morning to you too. Well Sarah it’s official now. I’ve just come from the Admiral’s office. My designator has been officially changed to aviator.” replied Harm. “So what does that mean?” asked Mac hoping against hope that Harm wouldn’t be leaving. “Well I now have the option to pursue flying tomcats again. I don’t know if I want to or not. It’s all happening so fast.” replied a frazzled Harm. “You’re right. It is happening very quickly. I guess when the Admiral decides to get something done he doesn’t waste time. I know I’m not prepared to see you leave so soon.” responded Mac sadly. “I’m not prepared for this either. I know I’ve been thinking about going back to flying for a long time. But now that it’s almost here I’m not sure that I’m ready.” replied Harm cautiously. “If you decide to go I’m going to miss you fly boy. You are my best friend I’ve enjoyed working with you so closely. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like you again to be my friend. But I’ll support any decision you make.” replied Mac struggling to hold back the tears.
“Sarah, I’ve never had a partner or a friend like you before either. You’ve been there for me whenever I’ve needed you. You’re very special to me. I’ll truly miss our close working relationship.” replied Harm as he took her hand in his. “Well Harm, you’ve always been there for me too.” responded Mac as she held on tight. “I have to get back to work now. Why don’t we go out for lunch and talk about this later?” asked Harm. “OK Harm, see you later.” replied Mac as she let go of his hand. Tears began to flow in Mac’s eyes after Harm left the office. It seemed that Harm would be leaving her after all. This made her very sad. How would she be able to survive without him. He was her life.