Family Ties

“Beware of Allah, The One to Whom you supplicate for your needs, and beware of (breaking) family ties.” (Qur’aan)
“And give to the relatives (family members) their rights (which are due to them).” (Qur’aan)

The sustainment and maintenance of family ties are Waajib commands, which have to be observed with great care. As long as this sustainment does not infringe on any laws of Allah Ta’ala, it has to be incumbently observed. The punishment in both worlds is severe for violating the rights of relatives and family members. Family members (Zul Qurbaa) in this context do not refer to only the wife and children. The term brings within its scope all relatives. Parents, brother, sisters, step-parents, step-brothers, and sisters, cousins, aunts, etc., are all within the ambit of Zul Qurbaa. All these relatives have rights on a man.

OPPONENT

Usually the biggest stumbling block and opponent of a man in his endeavor to serve his parents and fulfill the rights of other relatives thereby conforming to the Qur’aanic command of sustaining family ties, is the wife. Most wives are averse to the relatives of their husbands. They develop considerable hasad (jealousy) for the relatives of their husbands. In her nefarious bid to thwart and prevent the husband from rendering service and spending part of his wealth in upholding the Shariah’s command to sustain family ties, the wife engage in intrigue and conspiracy. She creates a great upheaval in the home bringing bitterness which may lead to even the break-up of the marriage.

he maintains a constant barrage of pressure in her shaitaani plot to prevent her husband from maintaining close ties and from offering aid and service to his relatives. Many husbands, due to their own weakness, submit to the evil dictates of the evil woman and either sever ties with their family or refrain from fulfilling their rights which the Shariah has imposed on them. Other men again ignore the tantrums of their wives and refuse to buckle under the haraam pressure their wives exercise. They choose the option of a tumultuous married life, but remain steadfast in the execution of the Waajib duty to sustain family ties.

THE MEANING OF FAMILT TIES

Sustainment of family ties should not be misunderstood. In many quarters there exists the misunderstanding that family ties should be sustained at all costs, even at the cost of violating the Shariah and invoking the Wrath of Allah Ta’ala. It is haraam to go to this extreme. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) clearly stated that it is not permissible to obey anyone in any act which involves transgression. When Allah’s Shariah is being flouted by relatives, e.g. at wedding functions, etc., then it is not permissible to accept their invitation to attend. If family ties have to be severed in such cases, the sin devolves on those who commit haraam and invite others to haraam as well. Non-participation in haraam activities cannot be equated to severance of family ties.
Sustainment of family ties means to render service to family members. To be kind and helpful to them, and to aid them when they are in need. Also to spend on them within the limits of one’s income. To give them Deeni Nsaeehat. To overlook their faults. Not to fight with them when it is reported that they had spoken ill of one.

The significance and great importance of sustaining family ties will be understood better from the following Hadith of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam): Ibn Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “The superior rank of kindness to one’s father is that one is kind to the friends of one’s father after his demise. (Mishkaat)

When sustainment of family ties brings within its scope even the friends of one’s father after his death, it will be readily understood how important and necessary is this Waajib sustainment during the lifetime of one’s parents and other members of the family.

MUJLISUL ULEMA OF SOUTH AFRICA
P.O. BOX 3393
Port Elizabeth, SOUTH AFRICA 6056